Going to the doctor ...again

I went in for another testing of my hcg levels on Tuesday to see if the pregnancy hormone is out of my system. Last week when they tested me, my levels were 101. I've been still having a lot of cramping, light headedness and my feet have been swelling... who knows why. I called and told them about this Monday, but they just told me that my body's just been through a lot and that's probably just what it is, they also thought that maybe I'm anemic. Well, yesterday, I cramped all day and was just miserable. I called in to tell them and get the results from the tests and she told me that my hcg levels have gone up!!! What?!!! I screamed into the phone. That doesn't mean I'm still pregnant does it? She assured me "probably not" Real assuring. She should have said no, not probably not. They only went up to 145, but still... They went UP, not down like they're supposed to. Also the other test they did was the wrong test! Just great... But she said she was very concerned and needed to call me back after she talked to the doctor. When she called me back, she told me the the doc wanted me to go straight to the ER. "There's no way! I can't afford the deductible, it's like $500!!!" "OK, I'll talk to the doc again and call you back" she said. Well, anyway... I have to go in first thing this morning and have several blood tests and an ultrasound. I am dreading it so so so bad. I just want this to all be over and never set foot in that doctors office again. The least I can think about this miscarriage, the better, and it's just still going on. I'm guessing I'll probably have to have the D & C. I so badly didn't want to have that done. ... So please pray for me today, I'm going to need it. I know I'm going to burst into tears as soon as I lay down for that ultrasound. That's supposed to be a happy room. It's where you're supposed to hear your baby's heartbeat and see it for the first time. That's where I had my ultrasound with Tad. Now I'll be laying up there knowing that I won't be hearing that little heartbeat. I'm going to do my best to keep it together though. Doubt it will happen, but I'm gonna try. So, yeah... please keep me in your prayers today.