Healing

Yesterday was a good day. I was still sad, but it was the first day that things have started to feel normal again. Me, Mom and the kids took our bi-weekly trip to visit my aunt and uncle, and it did me a lot of good. We laughed, ate good food, and just had a really good time. They gave me this beautiful pink flowering vine (I can't think of the name of it... it's too hard to pronounce anyway.) I think we're going to build a trellis on the back of the house for it to grow up. At home, in the evening, Bobby gave Lexie and Tad wagon rides through the back yard. It was Tad's first time, and he loved it! I thought he would be terrified but he actually cried every time Bobby would stop! It was so funny...

Here he is getting kisses from Eddie. I love this picture...


I thought this picture was funny 'cause they both had their mouths open! Lexie's being dramatic, as usual...


So...yeah, I'm beginning to heal and find some peace. I have struggled so much trying to understand why and get answers. I've been so frustrated with God, wanting to know why he didn't answer my prayers, why He took my baby away, but I am starting to come to terms with the fact that my baby's in a much better place right now, than being here on this earth. I'm still hurting, but I am dealing with it better. I actually put on make up today and cleaned the house. My brain doesn't seem to be in that same fog that it's been in for the last several days. There's no sense in being mad at God anymore. He knows what's best... (two days ago, I couldn't have said that) But my little baby is in Heaven, and God had a reason for it. So, I don't suppose I have to understand why. I'm just going to trust Him now.